after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
