Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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