I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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