she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize