I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
