Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
