Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
