I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
