That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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