She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
