she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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