There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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