my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
