Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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