I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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