I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I fill condoms, not promises.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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