She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
