so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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