Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
