she was so not down for the gang bang
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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