the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize