Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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