Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
