Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
