Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Houston, we have a squirter
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize