Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
