I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
