I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
