yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
