apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
