You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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