franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
