he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
