I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
