the condom got lost in my hair
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize