What a fucking waste of an outfit
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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