I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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