I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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