Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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