he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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