Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Bring me that man meat
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
