Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
