pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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