u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
