Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
