Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
