This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
