Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
