He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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