i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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