whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
