so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
