Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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