what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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