David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
