Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize