Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
