I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
