Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
