Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
A bitchslap is in order.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
